I just wanted to say that I adore Vincent Price.
I just watched The Abominable Dr. Phibes, which I haven't seen in years, as well as Dr. Phibes Rises Again, which I had never seen before.
DPRA - was OK, pretty standard fare, and of course with some fantastic overacting by the venerable Mr. Price, and one murder that I didn't see coming and that made me laugh out loud. Oh, and the single best use of a Sousaphone in the history of cinema.
But oh, my reader(s?)...if you have never watched The Abominable Dr. Phibes, or even if you have and it's just been awhile - go ye to thy Netflix, or to the Blockbuster, or to the MGM channel if you have it. It's got a terrific self-awareness, with hilarious murders, completely marvelous over-the-top mugging by Price and Virginia North, and creepy-ass animatronic musicians that appear in the film's most bizarre WTF moments.
Vincent Prince reportedly laughed so hard during the filming that they had to keep redoing his makeup.
"Nine...killed...you....Nine....shall...die. Eight...are...dead...soon.. to.. be...nine."
C'mon, people. Time to jump on this bandwagon.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I Am Going To Take Ben Kingsley's Oscar Away Until He Learns To Behave
Full disclosure: I have not seen the film The Love Guru. Furthermore, you can't make me.
I am so disillusioned.
Ben Kingsley is in the new Mike Myers movie. His character's name is Guru Tugginmypuddha. It seems that he crosses his eyes in order to bring gravitas to the role.
Let me say that again: Ben Kingsley - SIR Ben Kingsley, Oscar winner and multiple nominee - is playing a character named Guru Tugginmypuddha.
Guru Tugginmypuddha?
Does Mike Myers know some horrible deep, dark secret about Sir Ben? Does he have access to some sort of Bad Decision Potion that he slipped into Kingley's Earl Grey like a career sabotage mickey?
How did a man with such a stunning array of honors, both personal and professional - a man WITH INDIAN HERITAGE, mind you, come to decide that it would be a Good Idea to play a one-dimensional racist character who exists purely as a vehicle for a junior-high-caliber joke in a film by the same man responsible for the abomination that was The Cat in the Hat? I mean, everyone in Hollywood makes a poor choice, role-wise, every once in a while, but COME ON.
let's cap this all off with this little nugget: apparently, Sir Ben said that working with Mike Myers was similar to what he imagined it might have been like to work with Charlie Chaplin. (No time for syntax, Dr. Jones! I'm ranting here.) That HAS to be a joke, right? Right?
I have to wash the whole idea of this out of my brain. I will watch Gandhi, or Sexy Beast, or The House of Sand and Fog, , or Testimony, or Schindler's List, or hell, even Dave (shut up. I like Kevin Klein, ok?) I will simply not acknowledge that these nuanced, brilliant performances were delivered by the same man who apparently thought that a vaguely racist masturbation joke might be a Neat New Challenge.
Gaaah.
Edit: It will serve him right if from now on, when you Google "Ben Kingsley", The Love Guru will be the first 10,000 hits.
I am pleased to report, however, that this is not currently the case.
I am so disillusioned.
Ben Kingsley is in the new Mike Myers movie. His character's name is Guru Tugginmypuddha. It seems that he crosses his eyes in order to bring gravitas to the role.
Let me say that again: Ben Kingsley - SIR Ben Kingsley, Oscar winner and multiple nominee - is playing a character named Guru Tugginmypuddha.
Guru Tugginmypuddha?
Does Mike Myers know some horrible deep, dark secret about Sir Ben? Does he have access to some sort of Bad Decision Potion that he slipped into Kingley's Earl Grey like a career sabotage mickey?
How did a man with such a stunning array of honors, both personal and professional - a man WITH INDIAN HERITAGE, mind you, come to decide that it would be a Good Idea to play a one-dimensional racist character who exists purely as a vehicle for a junior-high-caliber joke in a film by the same man responsible for the abomination that was The Cat in the Hat? I mean, everyone in Hollywood makes a poor choice, role-wise, every once in a while, but COME ON.
let's cap this all off with this little nugget: apparently, Sir Ben said that working with Mike Myers was similar to what he imagined it might have been like to work with Charlie Chaplin. (No time for syntax, Dr. Jones! I'm ranting here.) That HAS to be a joke, right? Right?
I have to wash the whole idea of this out of my brain. I will watch Gandhi, or Sexy Beast, or The House of Sand and Fog, , or Testimony, or Schindler's List, or hell, even Dave (shut up. I like Kevin Klein, ok?) I will simply not acknowledge that these nuanced, brilliant performances were delivered by the same man who apparently thought that a vaguely racist masturbation joke might be a Neat New Challenge.
Gaaah.
Edit: It will serve him right if from now on, when you Google "Ben Kingsley", The Love Guru will be the first 10,000 hits.
I am pleased to report, however, that this is not currently the case.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Hills Don't Have My Eyes
Can someone PLEASE explain to me what "The Hills" is(are)?
There was some vapid bozo from this show (with a name like Spencer or Sterling or Douchebag) on Letterman the other night, and I'm confused. It's "scripted reality" or something like that, right? So an ENTIRE SHOW that people watch that is full of useless famewhores like Paris Hilton? This guy claims he gets $100K just to show up at a club. I would maybe spend $100K if it meant I could HIT him with a club.
Where can I get me some of this "scripted reality," by the way? My reality has far too many catbox-cleanings for my taste.
UNRELATED LINK OF THE DAY: Clerk Hit With Frozen Burrito: Chips Stolen
There was some vapid bozo from this show (with a name like Spencer or Sterling or Douchebag) on Letterman the other night, and I'm confused. It's "scripted reality" or something like that, right? So an ENTIRE SHOW that people watch that is full of useless famewhores like Paris Hilton? This guy claims he gets $100K just to show up at a club. I would maybe spend $100K if it meant I could HIT him with a club.
Where can I get me some of this "scripted reality," by the way? My reality has far too many catbox-cleanings for my taste.
UNRELATED LINK OF THE DAY: Clerk Hit With Frozen Burrito: Chips Stolen
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Bargain Alert! Paris Hilton is Selling Her Hair!
And I KNOW you want to hop on that train - especially if you own an electron microscope, a biohazard suit, and a lot of Petrie dishes.
Well, actually, she's selling a line of hair EXTENSIONS, not her own personal hair. But still.
Check out this quote from her site (no, I will not give you the link. I will not be responsible for the spread of this particular plague):
"Everyone should get the chance to be me. That's why I created the world's hottest hair extensions. Choose from ten fabulous shades and you will be a clip away from hotness." (then the link, hilariously, says "See Hotness")
Alas, I fear that I will always be just a clip away from hotness. I shall also forgo my chance to be her. You can cut in front of me.
Well, actually, she's selling a line of hair EXTENSIONS, not her own personal hair. But still.
Check out this quote from her site (no, I will not give you the link. I will not be responsible for the spread of this particular plague):
"Everyone should get the chance to be me. That's why I created the world's hottest hair extensions. Choose from ten fabulous shades and you will be a clip away from hotness." (then the link, hilariously, says "See Hotness")
Alas, I fear that I will always be just a clip away from hotness. I shall also forgo my chance to be her. You can cut in front of me.
But...I thought he loved me (*sob*)
Yeah, yeah, I've been gone & now I'm back. Whatever. You can't force rants.
So now that school is out, I am free to watch daytime TV. Specifically, feeling myself in an anthropological mood, I thought I'd check out What The Kids Are Watching these days.
Parents: time to invest in a Panic Room, and to seal your younglings inside.
I'm not talking about the cheerful insipidness of the normal fare for very young children: Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, Li'l Einstein - that kind of show has always been with us, and frankly, many of us grew up with worse (I hereby exempt Sesame Street up through the mid-80's and all episodes of the Electric Company from any criticism, ever.)
The current thing for the pre-teen and teen set is the school soap. From its origins with the cutting-edge, award-winning (and personally beloved) Degrassi Junior High, the Teen Soap has taken over entire STATIONS and have a veritas that I hope to be falsitas with all my heart - because you would not BELIEVE what these kids are up to.
Remember back in the good ol' days, when a sitcom would have a Very Special Episode in which one of the main characters would be tempted to have sex but then go running out of the Room of Iniquity at the last minute? Most likely these shows would include at least several of the following: 1) A boyfriend (usually, although the female seductress was not unheard of) who seemed like "such a Nice Boy." 2) A Secret Getaway that the teen character had to either lie to be involved in or would outright storm out the door; 3) Dramatic moments of struggling with Teen Conscience, followed by the seductor/tress conveniently leaving the room long enough for Our Hero to Make her/his escape; 4) A teary scene with Understanding Parental Figure, usually containing the phrase "I thought he loved me..."
Now, we have shows in which kids MIGHT agonize over whether to sleep with someone, but it's usually the prude character. More likely, there is sex, and THEN there are consequences, provided you have a show that deals in consequences. There is some beach-looking show on The N in which sex seems to be a matter of course, and the only consequence has to do with the Drama of one character stealing another character's significant other. Famously, the new generation of Degrassi High (again, on The N), has Manny sleeping with Craig (who, by the way, is Ashley's boo) - but the American distributors chose to leave out her subsequent pregnancy and abortion. Another character on the same show - the Smart Girl Nerd - has sex with her boyfriend and chooses to carry the baby to term and give him up for adoption. Another episode deals with an outbreak of - I am not kidding here - Throat Gonorrhea - because apparently kids really do think that oral sex is not "real sex." This stuff airs before 10 pm, people.
Lest you think that this show is some kind of anomaly, let me direct you to the message boards for The N, in which several posters can be seen at any given time decrying Degrassi as "boring" and "lame" and "not hottttt enuff." Teen soaps are big, and once they outgrow Miley Cyrus and Jamie Lynn Spears (way to role model, btw), it's all downhill. Drinking is a matter of course. Sex as a means of gaining power is commonplace. Lying, cheating, stealing, backhanded dealings - all are rampant, and not even the "good characters" are exempt. It's a little too much like the real world, in that morality is hard. But this is TV. Is it supposed to be this real? If you can't get a readily available morality play in 22 minutes on TV, then where are you going to get one?
Parenting (and teaching) is getting a lot harder, methinks.
Now, get off my lawn.
So now that school is out, I am free to watch daytime TV. Specifically, feeling myself in an anthropological mood, I thought I'd check out What The Kids Are Watching these days.
Parents: time to invest in a Panic Room, and to seal your younglings inside.
I'm not talking about the cheerful insipidness of the normal fare for very young children: Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, Li'l Einstein - that kind of show has always been with us, and frankly, many of us grew up with worse (I hereby exempt Sesame Street up through the mid-80's and all episodes of the Electric Company from any criticism, ever.)
The current thing for the pre-teen and teen set is the school soap. From its origins with the cutting-edge, award-winning (and personally beloved) Degrassi Junior High, the Teen Soap has taken over entire STATIONS and have a veritas that I hope to be falsitas with all my heart - because you would not BELIEVE what these kids are up to.
Remember back in the good ol' days, when a sitcom would have a Very Special Episode in which one of the main characters would be tempted to have sex but then go running out of the Room of Iniquity at the last minute? Most likely these shows would include at least several of the following: 1) A boyfriend (usually, although the female seductress was not unheard of) who seemed like "such a Nice Boy." 2) A Secret Getaway that the teen character had to either lie to be involved in or would outright storm out the door; 3) Dramatic moments of struggling with Teen Conscience, followed by the seductor/tress conveniently leaving the room long enough for Our Hero to Make her/his escape; 4) A teary scene with Understanding Parental Figure, usually containing the phrase "I thought he loved me..."
Now, we have shows in which kids MIGHT agonize over whether to sleep with someone, but it's usually the prude character. More likely, there is sex, and THEN there are consequences, provided you have a show that deals in consequences. There is some beach-looking show on The N in which sex seems to be a matter of course, and the only consequence has to do with the Drama of one character stealing another character's significant other. Famously, the new generation of Degrassi High (again, on The N), has Manny sleeping with Craig (who, by the way, is Ashley's boo) - but the American distributors chose to leave out her subsequent pregnancy and abortion. Another character on the same show - the Smart Girl Nerd - has sex with her boyfriend and chooses to carry the baby to term and give him up for adoption. Another episode deals with an outbreak of - I am not kidding here - Throat Gonorrhea - because apparently kids really do think that oral sex is not "real sex." This stuff airs before 10 pm, people.
Lest you think that this show is some kind of anomaly, let me direct you to the message boards for The N, in which several posters can be seen at any given time decrying Degrassi as "boring" and "lame" and "not hottttt enuff." Teen soaps are big, and once they outgrow Miley Cyrus and Jamie Lynn Spears (way to role model, btw), it's all downhill. Drinking is a matter of course. Sex as a means of gaining power is commonplace. Lying, cheating, stealing, backhanded dealings - all are rampant, and not even the "good characters" are exempt. It's a little too much like the real world, in that morality is hard. But this is TV. Is it supposed to be this real? If you can't get a readily available morality play in 22 minutes on TV, then where are you going to get one?
Parenting (and teaching) is getting a lot harder, methinks.
Now, get off my lawn.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Yeah, yeah, I've been all quiet
It's concert season in the public schools. What can I tell you? I'm a busy lady. I'm sure I'll have lots of rants to come: I just won't promise them daily.
Time-Killer for the Insufferable
(among whose ranks I count myself. I might, in fact, be Queen of the Insufferables. I'm having trouble suffering myself right this minute.
The Ecstasy of Influence
Kind of a fun read, with some important insights about the nature of intellectual property, copyright law, and other things that cause arguments.
There's a "twist" at the end, which I am sure you can see from 1000 miles away (did I ever tell you about the time the blurb on the back of a Blockbuster videotape caused me to ruin The Sixth Sense for myself as well as most of the people within earshot of me at the store?), but is fun nevertheless.
Thanks to my sister for the link and the article.
The Ecstasy of Influence
Kind of a fun read, with some important insights about the nature of intellectual property, copyright law, and other things that cause arguments.
There's a "twist" at the end, which I am sure you can see from 1000 miles away (did I ever tell you about the time the blurb on the back of a Blockbuster videotape caused me to ruin The Sixth Sense for myself as well as most of the people within earshot of me at the store?), but is fun nevertheless.
Thanks to my sister for the link and the article.
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